President “All Of The Above” Bans Oil Production in PETROLEUM Preserve
Not content to merely bankrupt the coal industry, His Wholly Reluctance has decided that all energy prices need to “necessarily skyrocket.”
To that end he has ordered his minion Ken Salazar to put 11 million acres specifically set aside by congress for oil production off-limits to…wait for it…oil production.
Salazar says his plan “will help the industry bring energy safely to market from this remote location, while also protecting wildlife and subsistence rights of Alaska Natives.” He added that the proposal will expand “safe and responsible oil and gas development, and builds on our efforts to help companies develop the infrastructure that’s needed to bring supplies online.”And what is he putting on federal land instead? You guessed it–Batshredders and Unicorn Fart Collectors.
The Interior Department set aside about 285,000 acres for commercial-scale solar in Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico and Utah. The federal government will offer incentives for development, help facilitate access to existing or planned electric infrastructure and ease the permitting process in the 17 zones.This bastard not only needs to be defeated in November, he needs to be dragged from the White House, pilloried, and cornholed with the flaming phallus of a syphilitic stag horn…repeatedly…on live stream.
(Another tidbit taken from Soylent Green)