Sunday, June 23, 2013

Jay Carney: How Do I Lie to Thee? Let Me Count the Ways

Jay Carney - you gotta love this guy.  He can refuse to answer any and all questions in nearly 10,000 ways.

Over the course of 444 briefings since taking the job, the White House press secretary has dodged a question at least 9,486 times.

Here are his answers to those questions from the Fourth Estate:

I don’t have the answer (1905 times)
I would refer you to someone else (1383 times)
You already know the answer (1125 times)
I’m not going to tell you (939 times)
Not that I know of (927 times)
I don’t want to (588 times)
I’m not sure (549 times)
I won’t speculate (525 times)
No comment (429 times)
I’ll get back to you (387 times)
It’s a good question (381 times)
See yesterday’s non-response (231 times)
The President won’t tell me (117 times)

And now, my ode to Jay Carney (with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning):

How do I lie to thee? Let me count the ways.
I lie to thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I lie to thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I lie to thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I lie to thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I lie to thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I lie to thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I lie to thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but lie to thee better after death.

1 comment:

  1. Joe Carney is appropriately named. He's a damn complete circus all in one guy. I love it when he trots out the dancing bears and the bareback riders...